


love thy brother

by sweetsindle



Series: Dadbastian Week 2019 (Tumblr) [5]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dadbastian, Dadbastian Week, Dadbastian Week 2019, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Lessons/Birthday, Other, Parent-Child Relationship, Tumblr Prompt, aster hates his birthday due to the memories and how his memory is treated in his family, he feels unloved and worthless to the rest of his family, not sebaciel, prompt 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 21:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21515410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetsindle/pseuds/sweetsindle
Summary: ɪᴛ's ᴀsᴛᴇʀ's 𝟷𝟺ᴛʜ ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ, ᴀɴᴅ sᴇʙᴀsᴛɪᴀɴ, ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇsᴛ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʜᴀɴᴛᴏᴍʜɪᴠᴇ ғᴀᴍɪʟʏ, ᴀɴᴅ ʟᴀᴅʏ ᴇʟɪᴢᴀʙᴇᴛʜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴅʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜʀᴏᴡ ʜɪᴍ ᴀ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ! ... ᴏɴʟʏ ʜᴇ ɪsɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ɪᴛ. ᴀʟʟ ʜɪs ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ ᴅᴏᴇs ɪs ʙʀɪɴɢ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴍᴇᴍᴏʀɪᴇs ᴏғ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴏɴᴛʜ, ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴏᴡ ʜᴇ ᴡᴀs ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʜɪs ʙɪɢ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ.
Relationships: Ciel Phantomhive & Real Ciel Phantomhive, Elizabeth Midford & Ciel Phantomhive, Elizabeth Midford & Real Ciel Phantomhive, ciel phantomhive & sebastian michaelis
Series: Dadbastian Week 2019 (Tumblr) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1543675
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	love thy brother

**Author's Note:**

> Part five of my addition to Dadbastian Week!
> 
> Prompt 5 (Friday: Lessons/Birthday)

"My Lord, can you please, for the love of Satan, come out...? You're going to be late for your party that we all worked very, very hard to put together for you!" Sebastian pleaded with a gentle sigh, lighting knocking on the door to his Master's bedroom. "After all, I'm sure you wouldn't want to disappoint Lady Elizabeth...You know how much she loves you..."

_"Loves 'me'...?_ What a bloody joke that is!" A voice coming from the child's room replied, clearly hurt, by the tone of his cracking voice.

"S-Sir...?" The demon stuttered, clearly shocked as he stood there for a moment, not knowing what to do. "My Lord, whatever do you mean by that...? She _does!_ Where's the lie in that?"

"Yes, she loves _'me,'_ per se, but _not...Me..."_

"What do you mean, my Lord...? You're confusing me greatly; I'm afraid t-that I don't quite understand.."

All of a sudden, he would hear the door unlock, revealing a red, puffy-eyed 'Ciel' Phantomhive, his face streaked with tears and his clothes a ruffled mess from burying himself in a mountain of blankets.

It was clear that he had been there that he had retreated into his room earlier that day as soon as his butler MENTIONED the word 'birthday.' 

"She loves C-ciel...He whimpered, sniffling softly, letting out a few, short, shaky deep breathes. "She loves Ciel...she n-never loved m-e..."

"O-Oh, my Lord..." Sebastian gasped, his voice cracking in surprise and hurt for the boy, suddenly feeling very, very stupid. "I'm sorry I should have known better...What a failure I am as a butler and your father..."

The child shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes. "No, it's alright...It's not like I tell you every single thing that goes through my head. I just...I appreciate you and the others doing this for me, but I thought you all knew how I felt about my birthday. Not only does it bring about the most horrible memories, but you're not even celebrating ME-"

"My Lord, I-"

" - Let me finish my sentence, you stupid demon! You all KNEW how this fucking day made me feel, and you chose to do it anyways - and you, Sebastian! I'd thought that out of all the idiots here, you would respect me the most, and say NO like how I like it every year, but of course, you don't! You know how badly it hurts, and how everyone treats me!" 

"..."

The demon stood there, completely silent with his arms at his sides. He felt horrible and couldn't believe what a stupid mistake he made. "Sir...Trust me; I didn't mean any harm, or insult by putting one on for you...We want you to be happy. I want you to be happy-"

 _"IF YOU WANTED ME TO BE HAPPY, THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CALL ME CIEL?! WHY DO YOU CALL ME YOUNG MASTER, YOU STUPID, HORRIBLE CREATURE?! IF YOU SAY YOU LOVE AND RESPECT ME, AND WANT ME TO HAPPY, THEN WHY IN GOD'S NAME CAN'T YOU DO WHAT I WANT?! IF I'm YOUR SON, THEN TREAT ME LIKE IT RATHER THAN A STRANGER! AND IF YOU LOVED ME, THEN YOU'D CALL ME BY MY FUCKING NAME, YOU HORRID CREATURE!"_ The teen screamed with absolute fiery fury, his eyes full of anger and venom seething from his mouth. 

"S-Sir I-"

"I'M _ASTER ORION PHANTOMHIVE_ , _NOT_ THAT HORRID, STUPID, MISERABLE _BROTHER_ OF MINE!" Aster Phantomhive roared in pure, absolute rage, an ocean of tears streaming down his now-red cheeks as he shook with angry hurt. 

"Sir..." Sebastian started, tears pricking at the butler's crimson eyes. "I'm _sorry..."_

The boy stood there, shaking his head as the tears continued to flow, his lips trembling and his heart ACHING. "N-No, you're not...You've never been. And neither has anyone else in this horrible life. No one cares about me, and they never will. I've always just been trash. A bloody afterthought. Ciel's always had the world, and I've had whatever was leftover for me to salvage."

"..."

"Did you see how they treated me when I came back...? They thought I was Ciel, without any hesitation...Never even f-fucking suspected that I was Aster. They just assumed I died. Just like that. Do you know how badly that hurts? They always tell me how 'happy they are that Ciel survived'...But would they be if I came back...? If I never lied, and just told them that I was me? They would have tossed me out right away, and wouldn't have even given me the chance to be Earl. To be the watchdog. TO BE ANYTHING!" He screamed, before collapsing onto his knees, sobs wracking throughout his body. 

He sat there, his arms limp at his sides as he sobbed his eyes out, not knowing what to do anymore. Oh, how he HATED Ciel for doing this to him...He had done everything for that horrible big brother of his, and what did little, sweet Aster get in return for all of his hard efforts?

NOTHING.

He was just garbage. 

He didn't matter.

If he were to get all of his family out and confess the truth, then they would take away everything. 

They would scream at him.

They would cry for the loss of the 'better,' 'more worthy' twin.

They would tell him he was horrible and a liar.

They would throw him away and leave him to rot.

Yes, indeed, there was nothing left for him.

The real him.

The very second that he would even dare to confess and utter his actual name, his life would be _over,_ and that would be that. 

After what seemed like years (but was just a few, mere minutes), Sebastian snapped out of his trance, looking over to the small boy he had asked to be his child, only a year prior. It absouelty destroyed the demon to see someone he loved so dearly just so - _Broken. Distraught...Hopeless...Unhappy..._

All he ever wanted, ever since he had made that decision to let the boy keep his soul, was to raise him properly and give him a good life. But each day, as days like these passed, the more and more distant his son seemed to be. No matter what, he said, did, or tried. Aster was just so broken.

But even so, it didn't matter to him.

Sebastian, for one, didn't care how broken his precious little star child was.

No matter how broken, unhappy, or even completely (seemingly) shattered his son seemed to be, he made a silent vow to no matter what, never stop trying.

No matter what, Sebastian Michaelis would ever let his son down.

Aster is what changed him for the greater good, and gave him a purpose.

Aster is what taught him to smile, out of honest to god love and joy! 

Aster is what taught him to genuinely care about life, and what he did in it.

Aster is what made him laugh, and not because of suffering or anything like the sort that he used to. Out of pure happiness.

_He owed little Aster the world, and nothing in this life was going to stop demon butler, Sebastian Michaelis, from getting it for him!_

"Aster...My dear..." Sebastian started, taking a seat next to the child, and opening his arms as if saying to come to him. 

The teen, through his tears, looked over to his father. He hesitated for a bit, but before he knew it, there he was, his arms wrapped around the demon's neck, and he was in his lap. "I'm sorry f-for saying all those things...It just hurts, y-you know? All I want is for people to notice me, rather than him. Is that so bad to ask? To be loved for once, rather than someone that's not even living to get all of it?"

"It's alright, my boy. I know what you mean, and I apologize as well. It was foolish of me to just...persume you'd want to. It was horrible of me, but trust me. All I wanted was for you to have fun and an excitable birthday. I never wanted you to cry or to be unhappy. You know I love you more than life itself, correct?"

The child nodded, burying his face in the butler's chest, his sobs turning into cries, cries soon turning into a soft moan, and soon, they were nothing more than quiet sniffles as he cuddled up to his father. "I-I know you meant well...Father, must we have a party...? I much rather we only have dinner or something of the sort..."

"Would you like me to tell the guests you've canceled because you don't feel well...?"

"Mhm-hm..."

"I'll get to that, then...May we still have a cake for you, and give you the presents that we've gotten for you...? I and the others worked quite hard on them..."

"I trust you were the only one that made the cake?"

"Thank the devil, and I promise I was the only one that did. I don't want you to get food poisoning or any other member of the family~" The demon said with a chuckle, kissing the top of his son's head. "Now, how about you go down for a nap until dinner is ready? That was quite the mental breakdown you had there, and it's not healthy to have them as often as you do. Sir- I mean, Aster, if you ever feel stressed, or your worried, or something of the sort, please never hesitate to talk to me. I don't bite, and you know I would never, ever judge you."

Aster looked up from his father's chest, tears now dried, but his eyes were now red and puffy (even the contracted one). "Alright, I understand...And thank you - I was worried I'd be throwing up late tonight because Bard didn't cook it all the way!" The boy said with a soft giggle, a small smile soon stretching across his pale pink lips as Sebastian laughed in return. "Father, may I ask you something?"

"But of course. What is it?" Sebastian replied, getting up, his child still in his arms from before - Aster wrapping his arms around the demon's neck for support.

"When you have finished with telling everyone and doing everything that you need to, can we play chess or something?"

"But I thought you promised Finny you'd play tag with him later?'

"Of course, I will! I want to play with you for a bit. You're always so busy, and it's hard to get your attention to things like that..."

Sebastian sighed, setting the child down in his bed, upon coming into his room. He went into his lord's bathroom, acquiring a rag and wetting it a bit, before coming back. He bent over the child and gently grabbed his face, washing it of all the redness and tears away from the breakdown he had earlier, giving the child a nod. "Only if you take a nap, I asked you...After all, I want you to be well-rested and have a great rest of the day. It is your birthday, after all. And that's who we're going to celebrate, you hear me?" 

The boy nodded, a soft smile on his face as he gave his father a nod, and got under the covers. "I promise...And thank you. It means a lot that you would try to understand me, even when I called you all those repulsive things.."

"Just a lot?" Sebastian asked with a small grin, playfully placing his hands on his hips.

"Okay, fine. The whole world!" 

The butler smiled, and the child lay down, letting out a quiet yawn as the demon began to tuck him in, leaving a loving kiss on the teen's forehead. "Now, get plenty of rest. I want you to be fully energized for when it's time to celebrate! I love you, and I don't want you to be grumpy when you are opening your presents. It might send the wrong message to our family!"

"I love you more, Father."

The demon laughed softly before leaning down and giving his son one last kiss on the forehead.

Before going back downstairs to handle the rest of his child's requests, and to put dinner together with the teen's Uncle, Bard (as horrible as he was with cooking, at least he tried, and that's all that counts!).

He walked over to the curtains, and carefully closed them before heading to the door to finish up his duties for the day, in time to enjoy quality time with his child. 

_"I love you most of all, my dear boy."_


End file.
